How I Became A Clitoral Stimulator
Clitoral stimulators? I mean, seriously, if you could think of the perfect job, it would be to be a clitoral stimulator. Of course, sex toys have the glam life, and there are plenty of clitoral stimulators available these days, but the words clitoral stimulator are happy words, don’t you think. Beads, vibrators, dildos, eggs, these are all things that can be used to get a woman all hot and lathered, and that is a wonderful thing. Every man would like to think that they don’t need any assistance in getting their women hot, but the fact is a good clitoral stimulator can make your job easy.Trench warfare it is, lobbing pipe bombs and biscuits over coffee and red bull and smokes at 7:55 AM. Hanging around outside the corner 7-11 you swore you’d fucking blow up when you grew up and owned Beverly Hills and ate taxes for breakfast and smoked regulations with tea while dreaming of becoming a clitoral stimulator. Not only a clitoral stimulator but a best selling clitoral stimulator used and abused by masses of waiting horny women. Everyone wants to be the best, and if you are the best clitoral stimulator, you are the best at pleasuring the opposite sex. What’s wrong with that?
My dreams were derailed early as I had to learn a craft, learn how to afford women. You can’t be a clitoral stimulator if you can’t afford to get past first base, or can’t afford a home plate to score on. Just be honest. It takes some bling to have a fling.
And so you get up every day and drink bitter coffee waiting for the bus to take you away to a cubicle smaller than your shoe-box sized room in your little brick casket in your little tomblike city where you get one tenth the action of a sad clitoral stimulator, lined out with rib-like radiators and window unit A/C’s in each and every pointed and tucked catacomb. Black and white tv’s if you were lucky, three channels of Barney Fife.
Know what I mean?
Now you’re all cable and CD rom, even. Porn wetting the clit for you to stimulate
More confused than a horny kid with a lap dancer & a two dollar bill.
Fucking bullshit says I, technology rules. Were it not for an adventurous bitch named Eve, Adam might have eaten grass and cow shit for one long boring life, instead, he shot his wad right there, no foreplay, no clitoral stimulator, screwed us all and doomed us to a hell where there’s all these wonderful fucking gadgets that blow your mind, and you can’t figure out how to use even the simplest one without explicit instructions.
Wanna’ come up and see my computer? I don’t know how to use it.
Or are you a “soft”ware kinda chick?
I’m a closer man, gotta’ be straight once before I die. I’m a hustler, proud of it too, show me the money. I like them biscuits, not hard to figure out. Gotta’ ask, though, the boss told me to…
Can you really live without a TomTom telling you where to go, because I just happen to have one way out here deep in the dark hills have eyes kinda’ woods for about 5 grand, slightly used.
After all, as a clitoral stimulator, it’s my job to tap that ass.